Where have you been? (warning-long post)

That's a question that I have been getting a lot lately.  Where are you? or How are things going? Well.....since my last post eons ago, there has been a lot happening.  Many people know that I closed the retail location of my store.  Why you ask?  well......it's a long story. Here is a synopsis:

My ds (darling son) turned 17 last summer.  This, of course, endowed him with the knowledge of all things.  (I am sure that anyone with a teenager has heard, "I know!" ) Well, we (my DH and I) started hearing more and more of that.  I think that all of his teenage wisdom caused him to ignore many of the things that we had taught him: go to school, respect others, stay away from drugs and alcohol. Now since both DH and I worked many hours, both at home and away, ds decided that he could get away with cutting classes, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and not respecting his parents, teachers, and coaches.   At first, it started off just a little indiscretion here and there.  Unfortunately, it escalated as time went on. 

As a parent, you always want the best for your child: go to college, get a job, start a family (hopefully in that order!).  We had reached a point with ds that finishing his junior year of high school was going to be an unattainable goal.  So what's a parent to do???  That's when the discussion of closing the store started and eventually became  a reality.  How were we as parents going to help our son make the correct decisions?  or at least reasonable ones? What sacrifices were going to be made?  And we couldn't forget about the other teenager living in the house.  How was she going to be affected by all of this?

So the decision was made:  close the store, move whatever was left to the house and move the store completely online.  Easier said than done.  The first couple of weeks I would burst into tears if anyone asked me why I was closing.  As the store went from busy to crazy busy, I actually started to look forward to closing.  Why? I really felt I needed to be home.

Well, to make a long story short, after much conflict, ds left home right before his 18th birthday.  He decided that he would be fine on his own.  Great, I was home and the reason I decided to stay home had walked out our door.  And he still had summer school and his senior year to complete.  At this point I completely withdrew from everyone that was not family or a close friend.  I really wanted to strengthen the family by spending my time with them.  I think I was also depressed.  I felt overwhelming sadness at the loss of contact with my son and also felt that I had failed him.  And I regretted opening the store.  I felt that I should have waited until my kids had moved out before investing all that time into my store.  I also didn't want to see all of my knitting friends as the questions regarding what was happening with my son would always come up.

Now, a couple of agonizing months later, my son has come home.  The sadness that I had felt has gone.  Do I still have regrets?  Of course I do.  I think I always will.  But things are looking up.  The kids start school next week and both are attending.  I am starting to work on my website more and am actually thinking about knitting again. And I am feeling better about sharing what has been happening.  I had been wanting to blog for months, but I think that the feelings were too raw.  I really didn't want to share.  I had so many people asking what was happening, and I didn't want to deal with their questions.  I felt that if I was going to blog, I should let people know what has been happening. 

Now that I have posted this, maybe I will actually be more consistent.  I do have more time to blog.  Since the store is online, I have fewer interruptions and distractions.  We'll see!   

Comments

[Amy]

Thank you for letting us know! I've come around a few times but I've had to give up something I loved for the greater (family) good and knew how sad I was so I assumed the same for you. So glad to hear things are looking up! Excited that you are going to be blogging again!

BTW - I have created a new knitblog (again ;) check out http://knitnmom.wordpress.com

[Jocelyne]

My two daughters are teenagers, and it's not really funny at home. They're 15.1/2 and almost 17, and this year, they stopped to go to school, became agressives, etc... Hoppefully, no drug...It's true you don't want to share this with others : they always have their own opinion on what you should have done and should do, and where you failed, but in fact, they know nothing...
Good knitting, it helps!!!

[Melissa]

I am so glad that your son is back at home. It must have been hard to make the right decision for your family. "Grown up" decisions suck! Your blog and your knitting are fantastic and I look forward to seeing you around again. Good luck with your on-line store. Keep knitting, it's theraputic.

[Courtney Quintana]

Glad to see you back :-) Long time no talk or see... I am happy that things are looking up for you :-)

[Jen]

Oh, thank goodness, there you are! Yes, my emails have been part of the long list. Thank you so much for telling us what's been going on with you. My heart is with you. Having raised three into now adulthood (whew), I completely understand. I wish you tremendous success with the online store!

[ruth]

ever since your store was closing, i've been thinking of you and how you are doing. wishing you the very best. *hugs*

[Robyn]

HI Violet! I'm so glad you shared...sometimes it's so hard but once we open up it does help. Glad to hear your son is back and going to school. I hope things continue to look up for you. I miss your store but know closing was best for your family. Blessings to you!

[Beth C]

Lots of positive thoughts have be going your way. We've missed you! Welcome back. :)

[Wreatha]

Violet - I'm so glad to hear what's been happening with you. Thanks for sharing. Sorry you've had to go through this - how painful. Your store brought joy & happiness to me and many others, and besides, following your dream and building a business is a great example for your kids. Hope to see you soon - miss you, miss Tink.

[janice]

Those that were bugging you with questions, were number 1 missing a good friend, number 2 deeply care for you. I know it was hard on you. Am glad to see you blogging again, and will watch the online store closer. Hugssss

[Toni]

Hello there!
I was looking on line and thought by chance to check on Frog Pond.....and voila.. a post! Nice to see that you are okay!! Motherhood is not for wussies... I have a 22 year old son with a toddler and a daughter who is a sophmore in college...they live at home.. If you ever need some "stories"... well I have plenty... Need I say more? I can only let you know that any decision/sacrifice that you make is for the best. Mom's know best! I am glad to hear that he came back. You know in the end... when all is said and done, they turn out okay...keep the faith. Good luck.. I hope to see you in the loop and can't wait to see more of your online store and your blog.
Toni from Roseville

[Marin]

Hi Violet-thanks for sharing. We've missed you and I'm glad you are back to blogging. Hope to see you around town one day soon-
Marin